The headline that almost happened...  

"Justifiable Child Endangerment" says County Judge.

Three minors, all brothers, were found Thursday duct taped to a pine tree in rural Minnesota. Authorities have detained a charming, talented woman they claim as their mother - though she denies any mutual genetic material - as their primary suspect. She was found in the boys' home hanging upside down cleaning the chest freezer which appeared to have been left open for an undetermined amount of time with 2/3 of the contents (including a stash of Breyer's ice cream snagged on super sale price) scattered across the floor and a pint of frozen cranberries scattered throughout the frozen goods left in the freezer. Several gallons of fresh strawberries were found in the kitchen, apparently left by the suspect in mid-cleaning for a jam making project.

"The neighbor came to get us for a job and I guess we just forgot we had left all that stuff out on the floor." said the oldest of the brothers.

The youngest of the boys was heard saying, "I told her there wasn't any rhubarb left in there from last year!"

"Oh, brother," was the only comment from the third child.

A judge has reviewed the evidence and the suspect is expected to be released without charges. She is being detained in the local county jail where she has refused contact with court appointed attorney services and is reportedly napping.

"We may have some trouble getting her to leave," states county sheriff. "She refers to the cell as a retreat center with room service."

The above news story was written by my friend SarahK after sending her boys out to the freezer to look for rhubarb and later discovering thawed food all over the floor and the freezer door open. I'm very impressed with her self-control. Although, if the nap spoken of, had been a sure bet... I'm not so sure she could have resisted.

Tying a String  

Two strings are walking past a bar, and they see a sign that says, "No Strings Allowed". The first string gets mad and says he is going to go in and demand his rights. So he walks in and sits at the bar. The bartender says, "Are you a STRING?!" and the string says, "Yeah, and I...." That was it, he was thrown out. The second string looks at the first string and says, "You handled that all wrong. Watch me." Then he throws himself on the ground and rolls around and wriggles and wallows and gets all dirty and gnarly and tangled up with loose threads at the top. Then he walks into the bar, sits down, and demands, "Give me a Root Beer!" So the bartender eyes him up and down and says, "Are you a string?" And the string says, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."

That is a joke my Daddy told me when I was a kid. He was always telling me jokes and getting a kick out of me laughing at them. They were really old jokes, but I'd never heard them before so he loved telling them to me. Now he tells old jokes to my kids.


You Missed Again  

Conversation overheard in the kitchen this morning...

Pickle: You poked me en mah ieeeee!
SweetPea: No I didn't! I wasn't even near your eye!
Pickle: Dat mean you misst.


Pickle: You poked me en mah ieee ugh-ens!
SweetPea: No I didn't! I didn't even try --

This too!!!  

I'd love to win this too!
Excalibur Dehydrator

Don't Ask  

After getting off the potty, Pickle said, "Momma, I tink I runned out." I said, "Run out?" He said, "Yeah, I tink I runned out. I doan ha-uh any mower." And I this is where I went wrong and asked, "Don't have any more what?" To which he replied, "Poop."

And again....  

I'm still trying to win these. They look wonderful!
Again, here's the link.... Homestead Blessings Videos

Another giveaway...  

I'm entering a few giveaways 'cause the stuff is too good to pass up. LOVE Graham Gardens! Here's the link to the giveaway.... Graham Gardens Giveaway


I want to win the contest for the "Homestead Blessings" 10 DVD Set at Raising Homemakes, so I have to share the link with others, who will then enter and lessen my chance of winning.... so don't enter this contest. LOL!